Do you feel like your relationships are almost always ruined because you are scared? Scared of being abandoned like your mom was? Scared of commitment because it did not work out before? Scared he’ll cheat on you like your friend’s man did? Nonhlanla Khumalo lists the top phobias that make women want to run and hide when love comes to town.
1) Fear Of Abandonment:
Especially if you have witnessed abandonment-your dad leaving your mom, perhaps, you might assume that it is inevitable that your man will also abandon you. Your logic will have you shun relationships forever. But love is an emotion and it’s not guided by logic. That’s why they say “only fools fall in love”. We all have to calculate the risks when we fall for someone. You can let your fear consume you and drive you crazy or live a little and enjoy the good times.If he abandons you see, think of an opportunity to meet the one that was meant for you.
2)Fear of Infedelity
Does monogamy actually exist? Yes. We have seen great men risk it all for a side piece. Do all men cheat? Why do they cheat? May be Tiger Woods has the answers to these questions.Although we all know that not all men cheat, but all men are tempted to do it sometimes and it just depend on who has more self control.. The only way you can get over the fear of infidelity is to stop assuming that all men are the same, and that sometimes life just happens. Rather be the girl who gave it a try than the one who never tried at all. Who knows, your man may just turn out to be that one in a million.
3)Fear Of Change
It’s only natural that you may be a bit concern about how married life is going to change you as a person.The entire world expect you to change- talk differently, behave differently, even dress differently whether you change at all is entirely up to to you. Discuss your fears witrh your partner and accept his help and support. Delegates chores- he may be more than willing to help out. Plus , if you can pay for help, go for it.
4)Fear of Abuse
Many women who’ve dated abusers can testify that their partners were not abusive from their first date. Abusers behave very well until they know that you are hooked, and then the abuse begins. If this is one of your biggest fears, make sure that you are aware of the signs. The controlling usually starts very early on and it escalates. If you notice this , address that issue. If the problem continues, it’s your cue to get going.
5)Fear that you are not the one
Some women starts relationships knowing that there is another woman who is the one. They only have themselves to blame. But you could go into a relationship believing you are the one, only to find out later that it’s not the case; in these cases, it’s not some thing you can control. However, Finding out as much as you can about your boyfriend’s previous relationships can give you some clues to his track record and your chances together. Remember, it really doesn’t hurt to ask the question and demand an honest answer.
6)Fear of Commitment
It’s human nature to want to protect yourself and commiting to something with no guarantees is a scary thought. Try and figure out why you shy away from long-term arrangements, and work through your emotions. Be honest with your partner about your fera, he might helpyou.
7)Fear of sharing
Moving in together does not seem such an attractive idea because you can’t stand other people touching your things . You need your space every now and then. But you should be able to ballow at least one special person into that space too.
8)Fear of being alone
Are you one of those girls who cannot stand being alone? You always have to have a boyfriend? That’s when you make the mistake of being in relationships that don’t fulfil ytou. How are you going to find the love of your life if you are always in rebound relationships.
9)Fear of being used
You might be scared of going into a relationship whole – heartedly only to find out a couple of months down the line that you are being used for your money or your name as a side piece. Before completely losing your haett to a guy, perhaps do a little home work on him. Check on his position and relationship track- record to assure yourself it is love – not money or status that attracted him in the first place.