Saturday, September 18, 2010

Why Keeping Score Is Disastrous In Relationships.

Jimmy drank too much at the party and embarrassed his wife lisa.Next morning he felt bad and asked her to forgive him. She said she would, yet she kept bringing it up. One day in discouragement he said, “ I thought you were going to forgive and forget”. She said, ‘I have. I just don’t want you to forget that I have forgiven and forgetten.’ Do you forgive like that?

Keeping score only works in competitive sports; It’s disastrous in relationships. There is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us , that we’ll spend much of our lives learning to forgive and forget. And forgetting is harder when the offences can be forgiven quickly; big ones require a healing process. But until you make the decision to forgive, the process can’t even begin.

How can you forgive as quickly and completely as possible? Clothe yourselves with tender-hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. To practice this kind of forgiveness you must focus on a person’s worth not their weakness. You must turn your heart away from what was, to what can be. You say. Why should I forgive and forget?

a) Because you yourself will continue to need forgiveness
b) Because you weren’t built to carry the stress that goes with resentment.


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