Tuesday, April 26, 2011

How To Spot An Abusive Partner

Spotting abusive tendencies in a partner early on in a relationship can save you years of pain and misery. Abuse affects woman from all walks of life, and the question is : Will you be able to spot an abusive partner and put an end to the twade before it even begins? Expects say you can and you should.

Here are the sign that your partners has abusive tendencies:

He’s controlling: Almost all abusers are controlling. Itr may start in a subtle way but will eventually build up to the point where you can’t get out of your house without producing a written plan for your day’s activities.
He is possessive: He is very insecure and can’t stand the fact you have other people in your life. Extreme possessiveness can lead to abusive in order to keep you under control.

He alienated your close friends and family: Abusers like to keep their partners away from people who care about them. Your friends are all bad influences.
He verbally abuses you: he never supports you and couldn’t careless about what makes you happy. Hurtful words are there solely for the purpose of hurting someone and a man who loves you would never wants to hurt you.

He hits you: If your partner slaps you around, pushes you againt walls and drags you on the floor by your hair, he is abusing you. Stop hiding the bruses- report it to the police at once, police report will come in handy once you are ready to leave.

He humiliates you: It is all about breaking your spirit. Your confidence and love for your own being dies along with your spirit.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Marriage Is Not About Finding The Right Person But By Being The Right Person.

There is no perfect partner in marriage. So, your search for a perfect partner is an illusion. You can never find a perfect being because you are not perfect either. Show me a marriage that endured, then, I will show you two people of great patience. Patience, forbearance, accommodation, compromises and long suffering are some of the vital ingredients that sustains a marriage. Do not embark on the futile effort of trying to change your spouse. It will be a wasted effort because to change an adult is not a child’s play and cannot be enforced.

You can only influence your partner and this is by making impact in his/her life through your input. Where your input is nill, your impact will not be registered. So, to change your partner, change yourself. If you change towards your spouse, your own change will bring about his/her change.

Treat your partner with respect, honour him/her, give him/her things, be patient with him/her, stop complaining and start commending, show love and before you know it, your partner will change towards you . Marriage is meant to be enjoyed as instituted by God . His purposes was to remove loneliness, create companionship, bring about increased result and ensure emotional satisfaction. The essence of it is enjoyment not endurance. So, do not allow your marriage to be anything less than what God meant it to be.

Marriage is not a licence to change your partner. Any attempt to change him or her in marriage without first changing yourself will end up in manipulation and control which is nothing less than witchcraft. Do not seek to change your partner, you can not succeed.

Never insist on having your way in marriage, if you do, you would soon part ways. So, do not insist rather strike bargain. Husband are to love; wives are to submit to avoid strife in the home.


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